BETTY PAGE. SEXY & PHAT.

MELE KALIKIMAKA & MILEYS UNDERWEAR

In December certain phrases seem to fly around more often in town, you hear words like "you first" or "no problem." People are super cool to eachother it seems when under the sounds of Bing Crosby elevator music & christmas carols...its enough to make me puke. I get that people are just "in the spirit" but let's be honest, once a year to pay for someones coffee is just shameful. Why give everyone the nicer version of you only once..a year? I just don't get xmas anymore. I get excited, sure, I will be the first to sing silent night while making a popcorn garland...but I love to create with my family and friends---all year round! And I don't spend hundreds on new xmas decorations and funky light fixtures. I bought all that already---ONCE PEOPLE ONCE! SAVE OUR LANDFILLS! And from what I remember, xmas was about recreating the birth of Jesus yes? And creating gifts from the resources that surround us...sounds cliche, but look around. There is less and less about Jesus and more and more blinking gadgets from China and Santas reindeer. So although I do bake my homemade ornaments and tamales every year, I still get irritated by the people who are normally a$$holes against helping others. They spend hundreds on creating the mirage they are warm and fuzzy bunnies. All year total demonic creatures...until Dec when they magically wake up like fricking Doris Day! (Please don't ask me who she is, I can't believe I know who she is.) 

Maybe this is why I get more naughty and rebellious during the holidays. I'm that person trying to crash parties and drink everyones spiked eggnog...strictly there for the free drinks! ha ha nah, I never do that anymore...in my 20s it may have been expected. But a 43 year old woman crashing a party is uhh sad...and weird. Anyway, my point is ditch the fake gift giving and xmas cheer..and go with some sexy or fun gift giving this year! Cmon.. join me on the naughty list hehe...and why not spend your money wisely? A knitted sweater won't get you that date night you've been wanting cmon! She is not going to be rubbing anyones feet after opening a blender dude /: 

The winner of the best xmas gift for adults this year? Lingerie baby!!!!!! Now this kind of gift is worth every last penny for sure! Have him unwrap your favorite lingerie, he will dig it too! Or maybe a gift card to sit for an artist to have her painted in it?? Wow, that would be cool!! Have more ideas if you need any, and I know just the artist to call for that portrait too (;  For the people you want to give gag gifts to this year or something different and artfully designed...I'm that person too. I can build or create a long-lasting lifelong gift that your loved one will cherish always...or one they can take outside and have their friends help them bash with a strong stick ha ha!

See you on the other side,

~M.

p.s. The pic above I posted was an example of how a woman of any shape can look and feel sexy. Skinny models are not as popular anyway now...its the "bigger" more healthier looking ladies taking over the mags like; Beyonce, KimK, etc. So no worry girl, a sexy booty is in. And hats off to Gene Simmons daughter; Sofie, for her decision not to have her pics altered, thankfully, theres someone out there setting a better example for our daughters. For a minute, I was worried that one country chick turned porn stage performer or movement tramp was all we had going out there /: Miley sit down girl, you may learn something that works for you better honey...now go change your underwear.